So, I'm actually challenging myself a little bit. I am feeling pretty ambitious today, and have already started another blog. It has nothing to do with this blog, but I made it separate for a few reasons. The first reason is that I promote this blog through social media outlets, and my new one isn't really for that audience. The new blog is just a collection of writings that I did while in jail over the summer. I titled it Stuck Behind Bars. I'm typing up some of my writings now, but as I said, it will not affect this blog in the least bit. All that I'm doing is typing up the stuff that I wrote, just about verbatim. I also wanted to mention that my Tumblr is now a bit safer. There are still some pictures of girls, but there is no more nudity or anything immediately inappropriate. I don't know what was on my mind that year or so ago when I was posting all of that nonsense, but it took me at least an hour or two last night to delete all those posts. I stayed up all night, watched the sunrise, and then went to sleep until about an hour ago. Here is my evidence:
The view out back of the condo.
I am most likely heading out in about an hour, and may not be back home tonight, but you can expect an update probably on Sunday, or at the latest Monday. Hopefully it will involve something interesting that happens over the next day or so. It is possible that I will end up in the mountains tonight for a pretty big party. You know what that means, instagram pics!
I've been slacking off. This will be of little surprise to anybody that knows me. I've been putting off another entry until something comes to me. Occasionally, that will happen, but I will be away from a computer, and I think everybody can agree that typing anything of length is quite a task on a phone. Now that I have nothing holding me back, I figure I'll take this empty time slot and write a little bit.
I would like to begin with some shameless self-promotion. I've had quite a bit of free time over the past week or so, and have started filling these gaps in my entertainment with some wonders of the world wide web. Meaning, I have created a Pinterest account, am considering getting my Tumblr back up and running, and have even more recently taken an interest in Instagram. I haven't done much with any of these, but I figured I'd post some links, so here it goes:
My Tumblr has a lot of stuff on there that I'm going to work on deleting, but it's going to take awhile. I will most likely re-update once I've completed that task. Definitely don't pull it up anywhere where anybody can see as of right now.
Here's one of my Instagram pics that I took tonight. In all honestly, I thought that the whole thing was... I can't think of an appropriate word, but "unoriginal" will substitute for now... and I just feel like it takes the creativity out of your hands. However, upon giving it a shot, I see what the rage is about. People aren't trying to make original works of art, but just give their pictures a little something extra. Not everybody is going to take pictures, and then bring them home, and drop them into Photoshop (I doubt most people even know how to use Photoshop), with the end result finally being a shared image on Facebook. Especially now, people want to have things immediately, which makes Instagram such an appropriate title for the app.
It's times like now that I wish I had gotten a little more involved in programming. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not my fault, and that I took all of the classes allowed to me in high school, but I can't help but feel that I should have taken things further. When the time came to pick a major for college, I still don't know what persuaded me to go with Biomedical Engineering. I'm not going to turn this into a beat-myself-up post, but exploring the idea wouldn't hurt.
My mother likes to say that back in those days, I wanted to do some good for the world. While this may be true, I think I was highly motivated by financial incentives. I was accustomed to doing the smallest amount of work, while still achieving high marks. I rarely studied for anything, rarely even brought books home. This continued while at Drexel as well. I distinctly remember this one night, and all of my roommates were together studying for a Chemistry test. They invited me to join them, but I left to hang out with a girl instead. They figured I was doomed, and somewhat shrugged off my refusal to study. Once the tests were graded, they looked up the scores online. They knew my ID number, and I can remember to this day how they reacted, seeing that I had scored higher than any of them. That was my life. I was golden, could seemingly do no wrong.
I'm getting way off subject, but I just remembered another pretty ridiculous instance regarding that first year at Drexel. We were scheduled to have a final for one of my classes on a Monday morning. I was up in New York all weekend, this was at the very early stages of my "glory days". I was still rolling on ecstasy when I showed up to the lecture hall, covered in sweat, my pupils completely covering any hint of color in my eyes. I saw one of my roommates, Mike, outside. He couldn't believe that I was in that kind of shape, showing up for a final. I don't remember much about the test, but I know I was one of the first 10 done out of about 400 or so people, and immediately left to go continue on my binge. I can't lie and say I aced that test, but I certainly got an A for my final grade, so it must have been a decent score.
Although I just basically fell completely off track, I'm going to try to complete this thought. I don't know if drugs had anything to do with it, but I'm not so sure that I could have been a great biomedical engineer. I was a shining star through the first two years of basic engineering courses. Once the third year came, those classes turned very scientific, and less mathematical. Numbers were always my thing (I love to brag about my 800 on the math SAT), and I wasn't getting things as easily at this point. I seem to shun the idea, but I'm sure all of the drugs weren't really helping my cause at all. And now, I'm stuck with nine months to go, and probably little to no hope of being able to get back in to finish (because of financial reasons). I just hope that I will be able to figure it out, and finish, and prove to myself that my brain hasn't gone completely to shit.
Now I take one more step back, to the programming idea. With my free time, I might start to look into some programming. I keep seeing these positions at Spotify for web developers, and I can't imagine loving any job more than that. I always thought that computer related fields were overpopulated, and workers were a dime a dozen. But, with the explosion of social media, that may not necessarily be the case. Sure, its still a packed field, but if I applied my passion, I may be able to shine like I once did. I can be great if I only apply myself. I'm not sure how strongly I believe that, but at least I'm starting to believe in myself again, and that's the first step.
I apologize for this post. It may not have been very entertaining, but as the title of the blog states, it's just a bunch of my thoughts put to words. I appreciate anybody and everybody who gives me even the slightest bit of their time to check up to me. I know time is valuable. I'll try to update a bit more often, seeing as I had nothing to type about initially, and ended up going on a crazy rant.
